After uploading my new post on cyber-bullying, something still felt missing, incomplete. Sometimes when something is so personal we take the easy way out and detach ourselves from it. Though I have expressed my opinion on how to deal with mobbing or bullying, I still feel something is missing. I believe it to be my personal pain. My experience. When I opened this blog I promised it will be as open as I wish to be and as honest and emotional as it gets.
That’s why I’d like to add this next story.
So, whoever read my first post (why this blog) knows I was mobbed at age 9 because I sided with another 9 year old girl who was being mobbed herself.
So I deeply understand what it feels to be so scared of going through the public humiliation and to be scorned by those who just a minute ago claimed to be your friends.
But though I understand where the bystanders are coming from, I still find myself angry that most of the other kids in class, and when your older, your classmates and co-workers (yes mobbing doesn’t stop at school) do absolutely nothing. They are the majority, they are the ones with the real power but so blind to it out of their own fear.
I worked with specialists on mobbing that say we should not be angry at them or blame them and while it is practical for the general “health” of the class, i.e. the dynamic of the class, I as a former victim of mobbing and bullying still have my anger that no one ever told them “shut-up”.
In elementary school I was mobbed but it was always clear to me that I broke the social rules and am now being punished for it. I changed schools as a better option opened up for me for a private school and had wonderful 2 years there.
But when I reached high school the bullying became so strong that only years after I allowed myself to realize how mean these people were. To write this and share with all even longer.
I will say here that in high school I had many good friends. And that’s what people don’t get. It’s not always this outcast that no one speaks to, this lonely guy sitting in the corner. I was surrounded by friends and was very opinionated and outspoken. And still there were two guys in my class that laughed at me on a daily basis, repeated my words in a mocking tone, insulted me and even tried to shut me up on several occasions. Whoever knows me can tell you how hard it is to make me stop talking. But they to my shame succeeded many times.
Not once in a classroom full of students did anyone tell them (including my friends) to stop. But the worst was that the teachers not only did not stop them but often laughed at the bullies’ jokes as if they were trying to “stay popular” themselves.
For me it was tuff as I could not understand what I ever did to them, and why me.
It’s funny but today im light years away from my high school years and still when I think of them I am filled with the same feeling of shame which makes me angry as I know I have nothing to be ashamed of.
So there it is, my story, I hope it can serve as a footnote for the post I made earlier and for you to understand why this topic is so sensitive.
I add this known clip from youtube on bullying. the song starts at 2:35.
Bars & Melody
The Fair Play Blog 